Approach.

I'm still flying. And up here, there is no feeling but greatness. I am still amazed by the things that were left on the ground. Still shocked by the freedom of an unshakable smile. Days turned into nights turned into days and I just floated.

Things have been rough for me lately. Sometimes, when I'm left alone for long enough, I start to sink pretty low. Maybe that's a surprise to some, as I definitely don't talk about it. And, from the time of the death of my father-in-law to the disappointment in certain once-desired jobs to a summer of meager prospects and an ever-ringing debt collector - That low was taking its toll. It seeps. It slithers. It rolls on and on until its deep into me.

This time last week, there was only minor anticipation of a terrific birthday party that had been planned in my honor. I was thrilled that people were actually going to come and spend the better part of an entire day with me. I started working that around for day and had just begun to highball that idea when I was suddenly lifted up and up and up. One second. Okay, one night. Okay, one night and six pee sticks. Wham! Life changes.

Gone, now, is the low.

On clouds have I skipped for days now. Right through a terrific weekend of events, which was cloaked in a milieu of double celebration. Right through sharing our news to shouts of joy, tears of joy, laughter of joy, and even some disappointment - of joy. And I capped it all off with my birthday present to myself (which could never match Tracey's present)- a new tattoo. (That sound was the collective cringe of my parents.)

So, needless to say, the past week has been an amazing journey. Actually, it is but the start of the path. But really, I have been flying on adrenaline for a week and sleeping very little. So I was not surprised by, nor did I fight, the long and restful sleep I have engaged in all day. I have only seen a small bit the day - and I'm okay with that.

My eyes are wide open now to things I never thought about. I held a 5-pack of jumpers for an infant at Babies-R-Us and nearly wept. I am terrified in ways I didn't even know existed... but I am reassured constantly by loving voices assuring me that I'm going to do great. I always knew that I had the tools... that's apparent for a long time. But, if I'm being honest, I never imagined that I'd have the heart to be a father. Amazingly enough, it's there. I don't know where it came from, but it's there. It's guiding me now.

Other News: (In which I try to not be one of those people that ONLY talks about their child)

My new play is moving right along. There have been blogs in my past that were stunningly well written. These are not they. Alas, my creative energy is being spent elsewhere, and I'm enjoying it. I'm doing my MFA proud.

Spain won the Euro 2008 Tourney. I was thrilled for them. I was rooting for Germany originally - but I love an underdog. Especially when they come out of nowhere. (I now REALLY get that - oops, I talked about it).

Farewell for now.

Dreaming of Old Main,

Jed

My baby's future wardrobe.